Jackie Hoffman: Chanukah at Joe's Pub Mondays:December 19, 26 @ 7:30pm & 9:30pm. Thursday, December 15 @ 9:30pm Saturday, Christmas @ 7:00pm Monday & Tuesday, January 2 & 3 @ 7:30pm Wednesday, January 4 – 9:30pm Joe's Pub Diva Madness! Jackie Hoffman Vamps Joe's Pub! Reviewed on December 5, 2005 by Wendy R. Williams Photographed by Mary Blanco

"Hey, there's going to be a lot of Jewish stuff in this show," Jackie Hoffman.

Jackie Hoffman	Jackie Hoffman

Jackie Hoffman, the self-described poor man's Bette Midler, is vamping it up at Joe's Pub this Holiday season - verbally toasting/roasting children (she doesn't like them) her family (they don't like her), and the Jewish chicken circuit (they are speechless - which is actually saying something).

Jackie is a legend in New York; among other parts she has played Prudy Pingleton (a prison matron) and a gym teacher in the Tony Award-winning Hairspray and she did an hysterical turn as a Jewish mother dealing with the fact that ALL her children are gay in Paul Rudnick's Pride and Joy at the 2004 Tribeca Theater Festival. She has also performed in movies such as Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blond, Garden State and Howard Stern, The High School Years.

Jackie's show is hysterical and the velvet banquets of Joe's Pub are in real danger of receiving golden showers from her fans; they are laughing so hard they literally could "pee their pants." Here is a small sample of her bits.

"I have a fear of ending up like Terry Shiavo; my whole family will be in the room and I won't be able to tell them to fuck off!"

"The tragedy of Roshoshana is not that the ones you love die, it is that the ones you don’t love don’t die."

"Rita Crosby was the Wolf Blitzer of Katrina – but less feminine."

"Children’s rights – what rights do children have? Do they want to get married too?" (Jackie does not like children.)

"The only time I was not embarrassed by the women on The View is when Barbara Walters said that public breast feeding made her uncomfortable." (Jackie does not like children.)

Jackie Hoffman	Jackie Hoffman

Afterwards, photographer Mary Blanco and I had not had quite enough of Jackie, so I emailed her some questions.

Wendy: You look amazingly buff. What does the Torah say about sweat?

Jackie: I'm not buff, but I fool people cause I have good arms. The Torah
only makes you sweat when you pick it up in Shul.

Wendy: Do you think that it is possible that President George Bush’s non-response to the drowning of New Orleans could be because he was never given a fire truck as a child so naturally he did not realize that in an emergencies you supposed to turn on the sirens and race to help. Is this just another thing we can blame on a mother?

Jackie: I think George Bush is over taxed, just like me.

Wendy: Did any Jewish comics drown in New Orleans and if so, what do you
think were their last words?

Jackie: The only Jews I know from New Orleans were smart enough to get the
hell out and go to Florida. (This woman takes no prisoners).

Wendy: What would you do for an audience if all the gay guys got married
and became as domesticated as house cats? Would you be forced to
commence home deliveries?

Jackie: They are already adopting babies, and I've made my feelings quite
clear to them (about that) and so far, they are still "coming out" for me.

Wendy: What is your favorite dirty word? What is your mother’s favorite
dirty word?

Jackie: It's a toss up between fuck and cooz. My mother's is gehargit, which is yiddish for "they should get killed"

Wendy: What is the nastiest thing you ever did? What is the nastiest thing your mother ever did (other than have you)?

Jackie: (The nastiest thing I ever did was) ask a blind woman to pick out paint colors, after she stole my cab. (Note to readers: Jackie did not answer the question about the dirtiest thing her mother ever did other than have her, so she must be an only child.)

So there you have it. So would everyone please march down to Joe's Pub and give that cat some cream!

Jackie's musical direction and accompaniment were supplied by the talented Bobby Peaco.

Rock on!

Wendy

Tickets: Tickets for these shows are $25 and can be purchased in person at the Public Theater box office or through Telecharge at 212-239-6200 or via this link: http://www.telecharge.com/go.aspx?MD=102&PID=3331&AID=VEN000080300

For dinner reservations, call 212-539-8778.
Seating, as well as standing, is available only on a first-come, first-served basis for all shows without a dinner reservation. http://web.joespub.com

Joe's Pub | 425 Lafayette Street
(Between East 4th and Astor Place)