Miss Wendy's Texas Love Advice
Plus Some Occasional Comments on the
State of the Popular Culture

L-R: Michael Mazocco, Wendy R. Williams, Armistead Johnson
Photo: Stephen Mosher

Dear Miss Wendy,

I was channel surfing the other night when I saw the most bizarre show on VH1. There seems to be a love affair between Brigitte Nielsen (the former Mrs. Sylvester Stallone) and Flavor Flav (of the rap group Public Enemy). What is going on? These two have ten children between them and good Lord, she could eat soup on his head!

Sincerely yours,

Gawking

Dear Gawker,

Gawker is a good name for you and gawking is just what we are all doing. But you have to hand it to Brigitte. She is at an age where the pickings begin to get a little (pun intended) slim and she has certainly shown a willingness to broaden her horizons and look around or in her case I suppose, look down (yup it’s another one)to get herself something “a little (third times the charm) strange.” And you know the old sailor ditty, “Toes to toes, your nose is in it and nose to nose, your toes are in it.”

Dear Miss Wendy,

I have always been very adventurous in my choice of places to do the horizontal bop. I started out in the back seat of cars (like everyone else) and from there I moved on to airplane bathrooms (a little boring), speed boats (bumpy and wet), hot air balloons ( cramped), a horse drawn carriage in Central Park (under the blanket), the subway (late at night), and cabs (but doesn’t everyone). I have even tried to “do the dance” while tandem snowboarding, but that did not work out very well at all and it really upset the ski patrol. Do you have any suggestions?

Sincerely yours,

The Great Adventurer

Dear Advent,

Have you thought about a bed?