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Miss Wendy's Texas Love Advice
Plus Some Occasional Comments on the
State of the Popular Culture

Ask Miss Wendy
L-R: Michael Mazocco, Wendy R. Williams, Armistead Johnson
Photo: Stephen Mosher

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Dear Miss Wendy,

It was raining tonight and I absolutely could not find a taxi, so I was forced to take the bus. In the bus shelter there was this huge poster for a new Showtime Television show called the L Word - featuring a group of very attractive and supposedly naked women. I was forced to hover in the shelter with some young “gentlemen” and all they could talk about is how much they would like to dive into the middle of the pile. Do you think that is what the show’s producers had in mind? And what about the ladies in the photo, what do you think they would think if some adolescent boys just “dived in the middle.”

Wet and Tired

Dear Wet,

Of course that is what the producers had in mind. And as for your question about the ladies in the poster and adolescent boys, since the women photographed are actresses, they would probably like adolescent boys in the same proportion as other young actresses like young adolescent boys.

But I would like to point out that if it had been a poster displaying supposedly gay men, let’s say the cast of Naked Boys Singing, most women wouldn’t dream of diving in the middle. They might want to ask for a recommendation for a good restaurant, club, gym, waxer or hair salon, but they would never dream of asking if they could join in the fun. Perhaps that is because when men see a group of naked women (with no men in sight), they immediately assume that something vital is missing. Women, viewing a group of naked men, know that there is probably plenty of everything to go around.

Dear Miss Wendy,

I have to ride the Lexington Avenue subway both to and from work and sometimes it is so crowded that afterwards I feel like inviting everyone outside to smoke a post coital fag (as in cigarette). What do you suggest?

Sincerely yours,

Do the Pokey Pokey and You Turn Yourself Around

Dear Pokey,

Well I guess it depends on whether you view being part a le sandwich as a problem. If it is not a problem, use Dial and hope everyone else does. If it is a problem, buy a studded handbag (Dior made a great one several years ago) and use it to deflect the occasional pokey pokey.

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