A Peaceful Invasion of Fashion Week Olympus Fashion Week September 2005 Written by Terry Maloney Photo of Amanda Lepore by Diedre Kilgore

It was the final day of Olympus Fashion Week in Bryant Park last September and I was determined to get into the Big Tent. All I wanted to do was attend a show or two, meet a few celebrities, make a few business contacts, and leave with a few freebies.

Of course, I had no intention of trying to sneak by the guards, who were mainly off-duty or retired NYPD. I just needed to get up my nerve to ask one of the press office types to credential me as a decorated US Naval Reserve journalist (retired), and a bona-fide representative of that "major fashion publication" New York Harbor Watch (an un-official weekly for the military community in the tri-state area.)

After milling about outside the press entrance for half an hour or so, I finally got up the nerve to show my Navy ID, some writing samples and my NYHW business card to a rather serious-looking (bored?) official of 7th-on-6th who glanced at my portfolio for all of fifteen seconds and then handed me that most cherished item: a lobby pass on an official Olympic Fashion Week lanyard.

Finally, I was in; I had crossed the line from fashion-victim to fashion-ista!

Heading right for the Lotus open bar just inside the entrance, I downed a very healthy pomegranate juice/vodka concoction. I then strolled over to the Women's Entertainment Network booth, where I scored a free pink and white handbag (tres chic!) and a bag of low-fat jellybeans.

Things were going very well.

Following another trip to the bar, this time for a "Fashiontini" (V-8/vodka), it was off to the Redken booth, where my hair-care needs were quickly evaluated by a stylish young man, who then presented me with a shopping bag of shampoo, conditioner, spray and gel. Unfortunately, no product that actually would help to grow my hair was included. Oh well, isn't that what all my ballcaps are for?

I continued to wander about the tent, collecting fashion magazines, drinking free Evian water, snapping photos of everything, and making small talk with the Beautiful People of Manhattan. Alas, no celebrity sightings, although I had spotted the lovely Claire Danes as she left the Big Tent the night before.

By now I was starving and, as I couldn't continue to down vodka specials on an empty stomach, I desperately needed food. Determined not to spend $8 for a vegetarian panini, I searched the Big Tent for free eats. Eventually, I spotted a nice spread behind a velvet rope, but was turned away by a clipboard-wielding woman from some investment house. With hunger trumping caution, I finally donned sunglasses and eased my way behind the rope, mingling with the financial types and wolfing down chicken satay, tiny hot dogs, cheesy things and, of course, champagne!

While feasting, I met Reba, a lovely young woman from Georgia, who had an extra invitation to the always wild and funky Heatherette show. Although the freebies and free booze were nice, the shows are what Fashion Week is all about and I looked forward to joining my fellow fashion scribes at runway-side, or at least in the general vicinity.

Reba and I had next-to-last row seats for the show and, as I sat down, I tried to look as if I actually belonged there, although my Old Navy jeans, black H&M tee-shirt with black Today's Man sport jacket might have given me away.

The music was soon pounding as a long line of bee-hived models catwalked by, dressed in a variety of bows, flowers, floppy hats, gloves, shiny minis, capris, futuritsic lingerie and swimwear, and even an Empire State Building hat! At one point "celebrity model" Nikki Hilton broke her heel but bravely soldiered on to great applause.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell was, most appropriately, the last real model on the runway, dressed in a huge bow in front and not much else. Nevertheless, she looked marvelous, of course! I mean, it was NAOMI for gosh sakes!!!!

Heatherette muse Amanda Lepore was then led down the runway by two hunky Speedo-clad models bearing a huge Midori champagne glass. The one and only Ms. Lepore, dressed in a skin-tight lime green gown that appeared to be painted on her unbelievable figure, poured two bottles of bubbly into the glass, vamped for the cameras, then sashayed back down the runway to cheers and wolf-whistles.

Ya just gotta love her!

Finally, co-designers Richie Rich (on rollerblades) and Trevor Reznor appeared along with Ms. Campbell and singer/TV daughter Kelly Osbourne to a standing ovation from the standing room only crowd of devoted "Heatherites," me included.

This was the perfect ending to a great day at Fashion Week, even if Reba had disappeared from sight before I reached 6th Avenue. (Was it all just a dream?)

As I exited the Big Tent, a security guard and fellow navy veteran asked, "Have fun?" I just smiled and nodded as I headed for the subway to return to my rather unfashionable life in Flushing, Queens.

(Note: Olympus Fashion Week Fall 2006 wll take place in Bryant Park and at other Manhattan venues from February 3-10.)