Texas Love Advice
Plus Some Occasional Comments on the
State of the Popular Culture
L-R: Michael Mazocco, Wendy
R. Williams, Armistead Johnson
Photo: Stephen Mosher
here for Miss Wendy's Latest Column
Dear Miss Wendy
I just read a story on MSNBC (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14082498/)
about how Dov Charney, the tee-shirt-king founder
of American Apparel (http://www.americanapparel.net),
is being sued for sexual harassment by one of his
employees. Now I have heard about this guy before;
he is famous for walking around the shop in his
underwear. And there was this article in Jane magazine
about how he received a particularly intimate sexual
favor right in front of their reporter.
What do you think about this?
Has Mr. Charney truly passed into a farther galaxy?
I notice that you did not say
that Mr. Charney was being sued for stupidity. If
that was a crime, it looks like the plaintiff would
truly have a case. But unless there was some sort
of quid-pro-quo offer to this employee, such as
– you do this or I will not do that or you
do this and I will do that – I don’t
know how any sighted person could pretend to not
know what the atmosphere would be like at American
Apparel and expect any credence when she acts like
Captain Renault in Casablanca who was,
“Shocked, shocked to find out that there was
gambling in this establishment.” I mean come
on now: The company has huge billboards that pretty
much spell out the company’s message –
This reminds me of a personal situation. When Miss Wendy is not lying in bed, writing her advice column, I occasionally take off my tiara, jewelry and boas and get dressed up to be Wendy R. Williams Theatrical Reviewer. And when I am Wendy R. Williams Theatrical Reviewer, I am a much more dignified person then when I write this column.
Well, dignified behavior or not, it seems that it is almost impossible for me to attend an Off Broadway show without seeing at least one naked person. To illustrate my point, here is a quote from one of my Theatrical Columns ( November 11, 2004) about a show where the pee literally hit the fan.
“Earlier this month I saw Finer Noble Gases, written by Adam Rapp, directed by Michael John Garces and starring Connor Barrett, Robert Beitzel, Michael Chernus, Ray Rizzo, and Paul Sparks at the Rattlestick Theater. Now I review a lot of downtown theater and there is always the required nude scene. In fact my friends and I have gotten to the point that we check out the actors and sometimes whisper to each other before the show starts, “Boy, I hope they keep their clothes on.” But to no avail, everyone is naked today so I might as well get used to it. Gases, however, has taken the naked thing to another level. Gases has been described as an anti-drug play because it is set in a squalid East Village apartment inhabited by a bunch of drugged-out musicians. In fact when we entered the theater we were told that the only bathroom was on the stage and if we wanted to use the bathroom we would have to climb up on the stage and march through the stoned-looking actors who were already ensconced on a tattered couch. Then when the show started, there was an announcement that no one would be able to go to the bathroom during the show. Well, I guess they forgot to tell one of the actors, because in the middle of the show, he faced the audience, pulled down his pants and peed into a drum for about two minutes.
“Well, I am also a theatrical writer/director so I said to myself, “I wonder what that audition process was like? How do you say to an actor, I want to watch you pee?” But then I read the program and realized that the play was work-shopped at the prestigious O’Neill Theater Conference in Waterford, Connecticut. So this was not just regular peeing, this was artistic peeing. And besides, according to the program, Mr. Rapp went to Julliard so if you or I don’t understand, it is probably because Adam Rapp got into Julliard AND the O’Neill and we didn’t. So go see Gases, just bring some Kleenex with you in case you are seated on the front row and be glad it is just pee and not actual gases.”
The point of having you read this long quote is that I did not run out of the theater in shock and dismay looking for the nearest lawyer so I could file suit and reap a bucket-load of money. I knew I was not attending church when I walked into that theater and I modified my expectations accordingly. Just the way I would if I should decide to go to work for Hustler, Playboy, HBO or for that matter American Apparel.
Dear Miss Wendy,
I am new to the city and have not been able to meet a love interest. I have always prided myself on being a sexually active person and wonder if those little incidents on a crowded subway car count?
Do you have a Question
for Miss Wendy?
Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org