Texas Love Advice
Plus Some Occasional Comments on the
State of the Popular Culture
L-R: Michael Mazocco, Wendy
R. Williams, Armistead Johnson
Photo: Stephen Mosher
here for Miss Wendy's Latest Column
Dear Miss Wendy,
What do you predict for the future of sex in the New Year? Will things be any different in 2006?
Wishing and Hoping
Well, things will start about just like they always do. Lots of people will go out on New Year’s Eve and get shlockered and horny. And then things will fizzle out just like “things” always do when men get shlockered and horny.
Then on January 2 nd, everyone will join the gym to try to improve their performance in the sexual wars. And that will end up how it usually does. Everyone in the gym will only be attracted to the people who don’t look like they need to go to the gym and the new gym rats will desert the quest when baseball season with its accompanying beer and hotdogs opens in the spring. People will then go to the games and get shlockered and horny and ….oh well. The world just goes round and round.
Dear Miss Wendy,
I have a serious crush on Terrance Howard ever since I saw him on The Best Man and now that I have seen him in Hustle & Flow, I been having dreams about him(I don't need to tell you what kind of dreams they were). What should I do about the dreams?
Hey, that guy is married and he’s got kids. So if you want to “dream” about him, buy his DVD’s and tickets to his movies – he really likes residuals. And go the gym, maybe you will be one of the lucky ones and will meet someone who looks like Terrence.
If your dreams are really hot, write them down. Maybe you have a screenplay.
Do you have a Question for Miss Wendy?
Email her at email@example.com