Miss Wendy's Texas Love Advice
Plus Some Occasional Comments on the
State of the Popular Culture
L-R: Michael Mazocco,
Wendy R. Williams, Armistead Johnson
here for Miss Wendy's Latest Column
Dear Miss Wendy,
I have become an
avid fan of the HBO’s polygamy show, Big
Love, and have been utterly amazed by Bill
Paxton’s Olympic-like endeavors to keep
his three wives sexually satisfied. The poor man
looks utterly exhausted and in one episode he
did end up in the emergency room.
But then I saw
an episode of NBC’s Dateline where they
showcased a group of thirty wives (one husband)
who all stated that they would be very pleased
if their husband married yet another wife and
no, they would not mind at all if she were better
looking than they were. What do you think is going
on? Has something seeped into the water in Utah?
When confronted with situations like this Miss Wendy always feels it is best to take a step back and look at what is really going on. You have a houseful of thirty women who says they would happily welcome even more good looking women into the home. And in return for the privilege of living in this “harem,” each of them only has to “perform wifely duties” once a month with the guy who pays the mortgage. Hmm?
This reminds me of a little story my sister, romance novelist Eugenia Riley, told me. Now when we were raunchy little school girls, Eugenia was a straight A student and even today when she writes a historical novel, she does extensive research to check her facts, like whether or not the heroine of that century would have indoor plumbing and need a buttoner to button shoes etc. etc.
But back to the little story: Dear Eugenia was writing a book about pirates, actually she was ghost writing it for the “I can’t believe it’s not butter” guy, Fabio (this just gets campier by the minute, doesn’t it), when she discovered a little wrinkle to her plot. It seems that many pirates were gay and would have absolutely no interest in ripping the bodice of her heroine, a damsel in distress. And as dear Eugenia stated at the time, “Just think about it. They go off to sea for months with nothing but other men. They wear frilly shirts, have pierced ears and like parrots. Well, all I can say is this certainly gives a new meaning to that old phrase, ‘I’ve got you over the barrel.””
For a more contemporary illustration, just think about what happened on Brokeback Mountain.
Dear Miss Wendy,
I am a naturalist who eats
nothing but the best organically grown produce
and am looking to incorporate my love of naturalism
into other aspects of my life. So here is my question:
Which plant is
the best natural aphrodisiac?
It’s a tie
between hay and clover.
Do you have a
Question for Miss Wendy?
Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org