Written and Photographed
by Jeffrey Gurian
Jim Breuer and Jeffrey Gurian
Amazing Month at Gotham
Chris Mazzilli's Gotham Comedy Club
has had some month. First Comedy Central shot their
series Live at Gotham; then Showtime shot
a special starring Doug Stanhope; then Comedy Central
came back to shoot a new show called Crash Course;
a funny look at comedy class starring one of my
faves, Ted Alexandro; then they had the auditions
for Last Comic Standing; and then the auditions
for this summer's 25th anniversary of the "Just
For Laughs Festival" in Montreal. Whew!!!!
Artie Lange and Jeffrey
Gurian at Gotham
And Chris never looks tired - always cool and in
He arranged for an amazing array of hosts for
each night of Live at Gotham. I went down to check
out my buddy Artie Lange from the Howard Stern
Show and Jim Breuer whose show Breuer Unleashed
runs from Monday to Friday on RawDog 104,
from 4-6 P.M.
Jim's co-host is the always hilarious Pete Correale,
who gave me an amazing joke for my book, "Filthy,
Funny, and Totally Offensive - Jokes So Dirty, Comedians
Only Tell Them To Each Other." The book will
be out April 24th, but I brought an advance copy
to both Artie and to Jim.
Jim Breuer and Jeffrey Gurian
Artie also gave me a great joke for the book, which
of course endeared him to me. He may hold some kind
of record for selling out Carnegie Hall (in only
three hours) for Caroline Hirsch's "NY Comedy
Festival" back in '06.
Artie, a fixture on all the late-night TV talk
shows was also the star of the film he recently
co-wrote, and produced called Beer League. Needless
to say, Artie killed and the audience was totally
his from the moment he walked out on stage.
What was great about seeing Breuer again, besides
laughing hysterically at his set, was experiencing
his photographic memory for events. He remembered
exactly when the last time was that we saw each
other and even recalled where it was. That is highly
unusual, especially for me, a guy who loses his
car on a regular basis because he can't recall where
he parked it an hour before. And that's with no
alcohol - strictly ADHD!!!
Breuer was with his lovely wife Dee, and I got
to see pictures of the beautiful kids. Going backstage
these days is a lot different than it was years
ago when groups of people might be slurring their
words in unison. Now it's pictures of the kids.
Anyway, Jim and Pete invited me on the show when
the book comes out so I'm pretty psyched about that.
Live At 30 Rock
I drove over to Silvercup Studios in Queens to
hang with Tracy Morgan, on the set of 30 Rock.
They sat me in a room with a script and made me
feel important. It wasn't till later that I realized
I had been stationed outside the Ladies' Room.
Ladies' Room at 30 Rock
Tracy's not only funny onstage, he's funny in the
dressing room, on the phone, in the street, basically
all the time.
But while we were waiting for him to go on, we
were watching TV, and commenting on the stupidity
of most of the talk show guests who are willing
to humiliate themselves just to be on television.
One show in particular had a fourteen-year-old girl
who dressed way too sexy and who admitted to already
engaging in sexual activity, and her mother brought
her on the show because she couldn't get her to
change her behavior. Good job for TV!
Tracy Morgan and his Equine
on Set of 30 Rock
Tracy was like, " Where's the father? That's
the problem with most of these kids. The father
is never around." And he was right. There was
no father on the scene. I was glad to hear Tracy's
take on that, as it's obvious that being a good
father is very important to him. He has three kids.
As I said earlier, hanging backstage is not what
it used to be. Now it's all about the kids.
Susan Blond's 20th Anniversary
I got asked to write some remarks for my good friend
Susan Blond's 20th Anniversary party at Michael's
Restaurant and it was a packed, star-studded affair.
I would expect no less considering the magnitude
of the people she represents, and has represented
over the years, beginning with her friendship with
Andy Warhol, and including the late great James
Susan Blond and Jeffrey
Gurian Wear Matching Outfits
James, who had been scheduled to be taped for an
anniversary video that was shown, left us just a
day before the taping. The video included laudatory
statements about Susan's firm from luminaries like
Clive Davis, Usher, Lil' Jon, Paul Shaffer, and
And interestingly enough, every remark I wrote
was weighed as to how it would affect each person
in the audience. P.R. people know the power of words,
and how to use them.
The event was hosted by MTV's Damien Fahey, who
is also the host of the hit show TRL (Total
Request Live). I got to write lines for Damien
like, "If anyone had told me twenty-five years
ago that someday I'd be hosting the 20th Anniversary
of Susan Blond Inc, I would have cried. Not out
of joy or excitement, but because I was just an
infant and wouldn't have known what you were talking
Unfortunately for me he wound up not working from
the script, and spoke eloquently from his heart,
about all the good stuff Susan has accomplished.
Damien was there with his manager and my old friend
Rory Rosegarten, Rory Rosegarten, whose Conversation
Company is probably best known for repping Ray Romano,
as well as Robert Klein and many rising stars like
Tom Cotter and Adam Ferrara.
Damien Fahey and Jeffrey
Susan Blond's Party at Michael's
Funny story: Everyone I meet thinks I'm in the
music business. Even people in the music business
think I'm in the music business. So I get to meet
Damien's parents and his lovely Mom asks to take
a photo with me. I was honored, so of course I said
"yes", after which she confided in me
that she was so excited to meet me, because she
had all of my albums.
Not wanting to embarrass the lady, I simply said
"Thank-you. And tell your son to get me on
MTV," which probably sounded strange coming
from a guy who if I had been who she thought I was,
was probably on MTV on a regular basis. I wish I
knew who she thought I was; I hope it was someone
Tony Danza at The Friars Club
Producer Randie Levine-Miller has produced many
shows, including over thirty celebrity luncheons
at The Friars Club. Once a month she arranges for
A-list celebs to come and be interviewed. This month
it was Tony Danza.
Tony, who was currently starring in the hit Broadway
show The Producers, has had an eclectic
background, ranging from professional boxer to star
of TV's Taxi and Who's The Boss,
as well as his own talk show The Tony Danza
Joey Reynolds and Tony Danza
at The Friars Club
He's also a film star (Crash) and is a
song and dance man who performs all over the USA.
Interviewing him was my good pal, Joey Reynolds,
the top-rated nationally syndicated radio talk show
host from WOR Radio and the host of The Joey
Reynolds Show, a show I've been proud to be
a guest on many, many times.
It was a sold-out, standing room only affair and
Joey handled the interview easily and with aplomb,
whatever that means!!! I happen to like Joey so
much that I even used his photo with Tony instead
of my own. That's how you know I really like the
guy. (Now I can also plug my book on Joey's show
The Mayor Of South Beach
I went down to South Beach, Miami to hook up a
book signing for this same book I keep plugging
shamelessly. When I go someplace like South Beach
it's kind of like when I hit the club scene in New
York. I know the scenesters, meaning the club owners,
the promoters, the publicists. I don't know the
crowd, unless I happen to meet them through the
Jerry Powers and Jeffrey
When you get to South Beach you only have to know
one guy, Jerry Powers, the publisher of Ocean
Drive Magazine and fourteen others, but who's
counting. It might be easier to get a meeting with
Pres. Bush than Jerry Powers, but luckily our twenty
plus years of friendship counted and I scored a
meeting with Jerry in his office.
His office, by the way, has photos of him with
three Presidents of the USA. THREE. The man is influential,
and very unassuming - very down to earth. He told
me who to call and told me I could use his name
and as of this moment, it looks pretty good for
me to have a book signing in Miami. Maybe I'll fly
you all down, (but there's a chance I won't!)
Anyway, until next time, remember,
A nationally known comedy
writer and an authority on roast humor, Jeffrey
L. Gurian has written material for many of the great
performers at the fabled Friars Roasts including
Richard Belzer, Robin Williams, Milton Berle, Jerry
Lewis and even Bruce Willis, as well as material
for comedy stars such as Joan Rivers, Gilbert Gottfried,
Phil Hartman, Pauly Shore, "Dice" Clay,
and Pat Cooper. He wrote and directed The Men Who
Series of short films for the Toyota Comedy Festival
currently showing on cell phones and You Tube. .
He also wrote for MTV and USA Network and was one
of the writers of Sony's first interactive film.
As a playwright he wrote a one- hour NBC drama about
the devastating effects of homelessness on the young,
entitled De La Salle. He was given the honor of
having his own column in the legendary Weekly World
News called "Gurian's
World of the Bizarre." His first feature film
Face to Face, that he wrote with Scott Baio, made
its world premiere at the Taos, New Mexico Film
Festival, and was honored as the opening night film.
It has since become an award-winning film and won
for Best Comedy Feature at the Marco Island Film
Festival in Florida and the Valley Film Festival
in Hollywood. His newest film, I Am Woody , about
a mob boss obsessed with Woody Allen, won for Best
Short Film at the NY Independent Film Festival.
Jeffrey can be seen around town performing his comedy
news broadcast Uncle Nat's Traveling Peep Show with
his comedy partner model/performer Sonya Gignac.
Jeffrey was recently chosen to be the East Coast
producer of National Lampoon radio. His first book,
based on his writing for the Friars Roasts is from
Kensington Books, "Filthy, Funny, and Totally
Offensive - Jokes So Dirty Comedians and Entertainers
Only Tell Them To Each Other." In addition
Jeffrey is a Clinical Professor at NYU in the Oral
Medicine/Oro-Facial Pain Department, a cosmetic
dentist, lecturer, author and healer. He also is
credited for developing a cure for stuttering. You
may read more at http: www.jeffreygurian.com.