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New York Cool - Ask Miss Wendy

Ask Miss Wendy -  Miss Wendy's Texas Love Advice to New York's Sexually Challenged

Miss Wendy's Texas Love Advice
Plus Some Occasional Comments on the
State of the Popular Culture

Ask Miss Wendy
L-R: Michael Mazocco, Wendy R. Williams, Armistead Johnson
Photo: Stephen Mosher

Click here for Miss Wendy's Latest Column

Dear Miss Wendy,

Mercedes Benz Fashion Week starts February 2nd and I would like to know about the sexual aspects of fashion week. Is there any pow-wowing in the tents?


Dear Voy,

Well there will be a lot of pretty little things walking down the runway (see through blouses with no bra, thongs peeping through voile for both men and women) but realistically, there will be no sex.

The female models have not eaten in about a month and if propositioned would probably say something like, “Not now sweetie, but why don’t you just talk dirty to me while I do this line?” The male models have had a little more to eat and might be a little more interested, but are still likely to say something like, “Oh that’s nice, but why don’t you just get up and act as my spotter while I lift these weights?” And the designers will brush away any amorous efforts with a, “For heavens sake, darlings! If you really want to be useful, get up off your knees and make a Starbucks run! Someone is going to trip over you and break a heel!” You see, everyone at Fashion Week is an ascetic, asexual alien; things are different in their world.

Dear Miss Wendy,

Are people still not having sex in New Jersey?

Short Hills Hinnie

Dear Hinnie,

No, they are not. Driving on the New Jersey turnpike destroys more than your soul.

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