STAR-STUDDED RESOLUTIONS Written by Phill Flash  Editor, Hollywoohoo.com Opposite Photo from Entourage

The New Year is the perfect time for a new start, a clean slate, a fresh outlook. And who needs it more than today's top celebrities. With that in mind, we here at Hollywoohoo.com are resolved to help some of today's most controversial stars make some resolutions of their own.

JON STEWART & STEPHEN COLBERT -- Think about working weekends, not much else is on worth watching.

KATIE COURIC -- Find out if there's still time to get your "Today Show" gig back.

BRANGELINA -- Spend a little time apart, you're starting to meld.

DIDDY -- Stick with one nickname.

TOM CRUISE -- Relax.

PRODUCERS OF "GREY'S ANATOMY" -- Consider a new character, McSqueamish, an intern who vomits at the first sign of blood (I am available to read for the part, if necessary).

BORAT -- Don't put all the jokes in the trailer.

EVA LONGORIA -- Drop that basketball player and date a real "playa" (namely, me).

DAVE CHAPPELLE -- No more vacations.

THE WRITERS OF HBO's "ENTOURAGE" -- Keep letting Hollywood go to your heads.

MEL GIBSON -- Hire a driver.

JOHNNY DEPP -- Try to make Pirates of the Caribbean 3 more like "1" and less like "2".

BEYONCE -- Never forget, no matter how many CDs you sell and how many movies you make, any celebrity is "irreplaceable." (In fact, Dreamgirls co-star Jennifer Hudson is waiting in the wings).

HOWARD STERN -- Start each broadcast with "But Sirius-ly, folks!"

GNARLS BARKLEY -- Clarify if the "G" in Gnarls is silent or not, it's driving us "crazy."

NAOMI CAMPBELL -- Hold on to those handheld electronics of yours, they're called "handheld" for a reason.

HELEN MIRREN-- Prepare Academy Award acceptance speech now for The Queen.

THE NEW BOND -- Crack a few jokes next time.

SYLVESTER STALLONE -- With the critics liking your latest, better start doing a draft for Rocky 7 -- The Next Generation.

MICHAEL "KRAMER" RICHARDS -- Make an announcement before each stand-up show: "No Cameras."

SAMUEL L. JACKSON -- Avoid movies with "Snakes" in the title... Oops, too late (he's starring in Black Snake Moan next!)

AXL ROSE -- Don't make promises you can't keep (the new Guns 'n' Roses was supposedly due out in '06, according to the volatile lead singer).

DONALD TRUMP -- Bring "The Apprentice" back to the Big Apple (the next season is based in L.A.).

UGLY BETTY -- Resist the urge for an extreme makeover.

DANNY DEVITO -- Remember not to have six or more limoncellos before your talk show appearances.

SHAKIRA -- "Hips Don't Lie" was a hit, so maybe more songs about your body parts?

TAYLOR HICKS-- Hurry up and sell a lot of records to your "Soul Patrol"-men and women, before the next "Idol" arrives on TV.

NETWORK EXECUTIVES -- Bring back "Arrested Development" or else.

MEL BROOKS -- Three words for your next Broadway pitch: SpaceBalls the Musical!"

KIEFER SUTHERLAND OF "24" -- Take a day off.

LINDSAY LOHAN -- Stay in tonight.

PARIS HILTON -- At least pretend you are not trying to get your picture on every website and in every tabloid magazine.

BRITNEY SPEARS -- Join the "Panty of the Month" club.

Phill Flash writes columns for NewYorkCool.com on an irregular basis, and is even less consistent with his contributions to Hollywoohoo.com. He does, however, keep his channel on YouTube.com filled with funny spoofs and videos, check it out at www.youtube.com/spoofcentral. You can also email him at Hollywoohoo@aol.com.