Miss Wendy's Texas Love Advice
Plus Some Occasional Comments on the
State of the Popular Culture

L-R: Michael Mazocco, Wendy R. Williams, Armistead Johnson
Photo: Stephen Mosher

Dear Miss Wendy,

Just what do you think Miss Paris Hilton will do now that she is out of the slammer? Is she really going to be devoting herself to "doing good."

Sincerely,

Hotel Harry

Dear Harry,

The real question is not WHAT she will do first but "WHO she will do first?" now that she is finally out of prison. And I am sure that the Hawaian papparazzi have their lens poised to catch the lucky man who will have his "One night in Paris" with what must be by now a sexually starved heiress.

But back to the good deeds. Leopards rarely change their spots and besides, does anyone really want to see photos of this gal at a soup kitchen? Paris just needs to scrape the "jail dog dooty" off her stillettos and go on about the business of helping tabloids kill trees.

Dear Miss Wendy,

What effect will the new iPhone have on sex in the city?

Sincerely,

Gotta Have It

Dear Gotta,

You will be able to sit in a bar and watch yourself on a video (that you paid to have made) on your iPhone. The screen is twice as big as most smart phones and the person next to you will be able to see just fine. It is the ultimate siren call or advertising tool. There will be a huge market opening up for personal music videos and once you have "yours," you can just sit in a bar and watch it and say, "Oh, my friend just asked me to do this. Isn't he silly?"

Do you have a Question for Miss Wendy?
Email her at newyorkcoolstuff@aol.com

All of Miss Wendy's old columns are in the New York Cool Archive Section, listed under the month in which they were published.