October 2007 Comedy Matters
Written and Photographed
by Jeffrey Gurian
Opposite Photo: Jeffrey
Howie Mandel and Jeffrey's Book,
Filthy, Funny, and Totally Offensive
Playboy Comedy on the Kandy Kruise
I go to some of the most amazing parties but I
never saw a party like the one I attended on The
Kandy Kruise, a three day party cruise from LA to
the Mexican Riviera. It was totally SICK!!! There
were five hundred guys and fifteen hundred girls
(mostly models) on board who were determined to
have the best time they possibly could. And they
certainly did thanks to sponsors like Playboy Comedy,
Fashion TV, Rockstar Energy Drink and Eric Stotz
of the Karma Foundation thekarmafoundation.com.
The Karma Foundation is an amazing philanthropic
organization. Here is a quote from their website,
"Where remarkable pay-it-forward people come
together to expand their spheres of influence in
sensational and elite social environments."
Karma is a private membership club where members
can network with each other to help achieve their
personal goals while using the principles of karma
and gratitude. The idea is that the energy you put
out is what you bring back into to your life and
when you're grateful for what you have received,
you do your best to "give back." After
each Karma Foundation event, a portion of the money
goes to charities such as the Susan G. Komen Breast
Cancer Foundation, The Torch Foundation, and Aids
Walk Los Angeles
Working with principles like "Celebration
brings out the best in us," the Karma Foundation
is dedicated to producing "creative, themed
events at luxurious and famed locations." And
boy was that true in this case. Eric took over the
Royal Caribbean Monarch of the Seas, which is kind
of a floating building. That didn't stop it from
rocking like a toy boat some of the time, but thank
G-d for Dramamine. I didn't get sick even once!
Bryant McGill and Joe Brat
One guy who lives his life the Karma way was my
gracious cruise host , an incredible guy named Bryant
McGill. Talk about a Renaissance man. This guy does
everything and if you don't believe me check out
his website at bryantmcgill.com.
Bryant is a poet, author, celebrity consultant and
publicist. His company, McGill International, consults
for Fortune 500 companies, A-list Hollywood personalities
and other high-profile entertainers. His personal
website has drawn millions of visitors and over
50,000 people regularly read his blog. Not bad work
if you can get it!
But most importantly Bryant is a consummate gentleman
and all around good guy. The first time I met him
he was up at The Comic Strip with Jim Karol. Karol
is known as "the psychic madman" and believe
me he lives up to the title. Bryant and I connected
over esoteric principles like energy work and healing
and we spoke for hours while watching Jim Karol
throw bolts of electricity up people's butts just
by pointing his finger at them.
Bryant called me about a project he was working
on for NBC and while we were talking he got the
idea to invite me as one of the "celebrity"
guests on the Kandy Kruise. He was the celeb/VIP
organizer of the cruise so I was definitely "hooked
up" as they say in certain small towns in Eastern
Europe. I was told I could invite some celeb friends
so I called Russell Peters who unfortunately was
touring and couldn't make it. I'll see him when
he plays Madison Square Garden on February 2, if
not before. I'm hoping he'll co-star in the movie
I'm writing for Jackie Mason to be filmed in New
York next June after Jackie opens his 8th Broadway,
The Ultimate Jew, next March. Eight one
man shows on Broadway. Incredible. I don't think
anyone else has had even done two!
Then I called Scott Baio who would have loved to
come except that he was getting ready to shoot the
second season of his show Scott Baio is 45 and
Single. Baio told me that he was out shopping
for cribs for the baby he and girlfriend Renee are
expecting so it’s better that he didn't come.
I'm glad to see him settling down and happy.
Paul Provenza, director of The Aristocrats,
who also wrote the intro to my book Filthy,
Funny, and Totally Offensive, really wanted
to come but he was in New York, and couldn't get
away. Pauly Shore - I'm still waiting to hear from
I was glad that my buddy Joe Brat was free to come.
Joe's real name is Joseph McBratney and he took
time off of his busy schedule to come and have fun
for three days. When we docked back in LA Joe was
whisked off to the offices of 3 Ball Entertainment
to discuss the new reality show they are planning.
The show is tentatively titled Get Me Joe Brat.
In the planned show, Joe will go out and right society's
wrongs and bring bad guys to justice. I can't wait
to start shooting that show because in the show
I'm his "consigliere" and we're joined
at the hip. Stay tuned for more.
But back to the cruise: Needless to say the female
talent was amazing as exemplified by the incredible
Bobbi Billard who surpassed 1.1 million friends
on My Space last April. I’m glad that I'm
one of them. I'm naming her my Comedy Matters Girl
of the Month. for October.
Jeffrey Gurian and Bobbi
Billard (holding Jeffrey's big pen)
Bobbi made a miraculous recovery from surgery after
her neck was broken in an altercation with some
jealous females during her stint with the WWF. But
fortunately that's all in the past and as you can
see from the photographs that she looks quite healthy
now. I didn't actually wrestle with her, I just
took her word about her recovery!
DJ Miss Lisa and Jeffrey
Gurian on the Kandy Kruise
The music rocked with at least 15 DJ's including
LA's wildman Steve Castro, DJ Skribble and the ultra-hot
DJ Miss Lisa who is also an international Playboy
Playmate. Miss Lisa was wearing the highest platform
shoes, silver lame "monster shoes," that
I had ever seen.
Sebastian Maniscalco and
Cort McCown on the Kandy Kruise
The LA/Las Vegas comedy scene was well represented
on the cruise and I was glad to have the opportunity
to meet some of those guys. Cort McCown, a really
funny guy who is one of the creators of Playboy
Comedy at the Lax Vegas Palms Resort and Casino,
was the host of the ship show. He also served as
host of the Miss Kandy Kruise competition. Poor
guy! Cort has also been touring the country with
"Dice" Clay, and Harland Williams. Do
you have any idea how hard it is to host a show
where most of the audience is wasted on Dom Perignon
and the girls are hardly wearing any clothing? Well
Cort is the man, 'cause he pulled it off.
Also part of Playboy comedy bunch was Paul Hughes,
who you may have seen on MTV performing stand-up
at Dave Navarro's wedding. Then there was Steve
Rannazzisi from MTV's Punk'd, and ABC's hit Big
Day. He also just got a lead role starring opposite
Eddie Murphy in Paramount's new film Nowhere
Land. Sebastian Maniscalco, who recently made
his first appearance on Leno, taped a half hour
comedy special for Comedy Central, and can be seen
in the soon to be released film Vince Vaughn's
Wild West Comedy Show, was also on board.
Jeffrey Gurian and Josh
Nasar on the Kandy Kruise
I also ran into Josh Nasar, stand-up/ TV host/producer
of some very hot comedy shows in LA. Lately Josh
has been performing at Jamie Masada's Laugh Factory
which features all A-list comics like Dane Cook,
Chris Rock, Carlos Mencia and Jamie Kennedy. Check
out Josh’s site at joshproductions.com.
But the main event as far as I was concerned was
hanging with Rich Granville, founder and CEO of
Jack 9 Entertainment, currently the number one IPTV
network on the internet. They are the first Internet
Protocol Television Network (hence IPTV) and they
are capable of hosting millions of viewers at the
same time with the capability of putting 1.9 million
people on a live streaming Flash video. Rich created
IPTV in 2005 as the first true internet television
network. Rich is the former chairman and CEO of
a publicly traded company called Avana Communications.
According to Rich, "We're like Fox in 1986."
Their only competition is You Tube. "There
are maybe 20 other sites out there in the IPTV arena
and I think we have more traffic than all of them
combined", he added. He also announced that
Gary Busey who was with us on the cruise signed
a contract with Jack 9 Entertainment.
Gary Busey and Jeffrey Gurian
on the Kandy Kruise
Rich calls Jack 9 his "last hurrah",
which is an interesting choice of words for a guy
who's still wearing a backwards baseball cap. All
I know is that the man is a world class partier
with a sense of style and grace, and we have some
big plans together that I hope to be able to share
with you in the near future.
Jose Jimenez Is Honored
Bill Dana, one of the most beloved comics of all
time who I was lucky enough to meet and befriend
through my old pal Jackie Mason, is being honored
with a Lifetime Achievement Award for his work in
entertainment on October 11th at Emerson College
Bill Dana and Jackie Mason
It was 1959 when Bill uttered the immortal phrase,
"My name Jose Jimenez" and it all took
off from there. Sadly enough if you tried to create
a character like Joe Jimenez today, some PC moron
would probably object. Star of the eponymous The
Bill Dana Show from 1963-1965, Bill became
known as a comedian/writer/author/producer and composer.
Currently Bill is very involved with his work establishing
The American Comedy Archives at Emerson College,
his alma mater. Bill is also a big believer in the
healing effects of comedy, another thing that we
have in common. Bill and I keep in touch periodically
by e-mail. Congratulations Bill, and all the best
in all that you do!
Boris The Hypnotist, Not Boring
The funny and talented Incredible Boris is one
of the rare people in comedy with a dual profession.
He is an internationally acclaimed hypnotherapist
and a comedian. It makes for an interesting mix.
Boris is a regular guest on TV talk shows, especially
the Maury Povich Show where he cures people of their
phobias while they are on the show. He has another
"phobia" Maury appearance coming up. Check
out his website for details at http://www.incredibleboris.com
NY Comedy Festival Talent Search
Jeffrey Gurian and Caroline Hirsch
I got a call from my buddy Bryan Kennedy, a really
funny comic who hosts new talent shows at Carolines
Comedy Club on Broadway. As part of Carolines' fourth
New York Comedy Festival, slated to run from Nov.
6-11th, there will be an exhaustive search for "New
York's Funniest Stand-Up" at the club on Oct.
16th. You get two whole minutes to impress the industry
judges. I wonder if I'll be one of them. It's an
open call from 11 A.M. until 4 P.M. My advice is
to leave right now, and camp out, because the line
will probably stretch to Europe. Finals will be
held on Nov. 5th at 9:30 P.M. in front of industry
( as opposed to in back or on the side of industry)
and the winner will receive a cash prize, intros
to directors, agents and managers, a week performing
at the club and a guest spot on one of the major
festival shows. The only problem is if you win you
may have to be very rich and famous. And who wants
to live like that? Raise your hands so I can see
Anyway, until next time,
remember…… COMEDY MATTERS!!!
A nationally known comedy writer
and an authority on roast humor, Jeffrey L. Gurian
has written material for many of the great performers
at the fabled Friars Roasts including Richard Belzer,
Robin Williams, Milton Berle, Jerry Lewis and even
Bruce Willis, as well as material for comedy stars
such as Joan Rivers, Gilbert Gottfried, Phil Hartman,
Pauly Shore, "Dice" Clay, and Pat Cooper.
He wrote and directed The Men Who Series of short
films for the Toyota Comedy Festival currently showing
on cell phones and You Tube. . He also wrote for
MTV and USA Network and was one of the writers of
Sony's first interactive film. As a playwright he
wrote a one- hour NBC drama about the devastating
effects of homelessness on the young, entitled De
La Salle. He was given the honor of having his own
column in the legendary Weekly World News called
World of the Bizarre." His first feature film
Face to Face, that he wrote with Scott Baio, made
its world premiere at the Taos, New Mexico Film
Festival, and was honored as the opening night film.
It has since become an award-winning film and won
for Best Comedy Feature at the Marco Island Film
Festival in Florida and the Valley Film Festival
in Hollywood. His newest film, I Am Woody , about
a mob boss obsessed with Woody Allen, won for Best
Short Film at the NY Independent Film Festival.
Jeffrey can be seen around town performing his comedy
news broadcast Uncle Nat's Traveling Peep Show with
his comedy partner model/performer Sonya Gignac.
Jeffrey was recently chosen to be the East Coast
producer of National Lampoon radio. His first book,
based on his writing for the Friars Roasts is from
Kensington Books, "Filthy, Funny, and Totally
Offensive - Jokes So Dirty Comedians and Entertainers
Only Tell Them To Each Other." In addition
Jeffrey is a Clinical Professor at NYU in the Oral
Medicine/Oro-Facial Pain Department, a cosmetic
dentist, lecturer, author and healer. He also is
credited for developing a cure for stuttering. You
may read more at http: www.jeffreygurian.com.