October 2007 Comedy Matters Written and Photographed by Jeffrey Gurian   Opposite Photo: Jeffrey Gurian, Howie Mandel and Jeffrey's Book, Filthy, Funny, and Totally Offensive

Playboy Comedy on the Kandy Kruise

I go to some of the most amazing parties but I never saw a party like the one I attended on The Kandy Kruise, a three day party cruise from LA to the Mexican Riviera. It was totally SICK!!! There were five hundred guys and fifteen hundred girls (mostly models) on board who were determined to have the best time they possibly could. And they certainly did thanks to sponsors like Playboy Comedy, Fashion TV, Rockstar Energy Drink and Eric Stotz of the Karma Foundation thekarmafoundation.com.

The Karma Foundation is an amazing philanthropic organization. Here is a quote from their website, "Where remarkable pay-it-forward people come together to expand their spheres of influence in sensational and elite social environments." Karma is a private membership club where members can network with each other to help achieve their personal goals while using the principles of karma and gratitude. The idea is that the energy you put out is what you bring back into to your life and when you're grateful for what you have received, you do your best to "give back." After each Karma Foundation event, a portion of the money goes to charities such as the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, The Torch Foundation, and Aids Walk Los Angeles

Working with principles like "Celebration brings out the best in us," the Karma Foundation is dedicated to producing "creative, themed events at luxurious and famed locations." And boy was that true in this case. Eric took over the Royal Caribbean Monarch of the Seas, which is kind of a floating building. That didn't stop it from rocking like a toy boat some of the time, but thank G-d for Dramamine. I didn't get sick even once!

Bryant McGill and Joe Brat

One guy who lives his life the Karma way was my gracious cruise host , an incredible guy named Bryant McGill. Talk about a Renaissance man. This guy does everything and if you don't believe me check out his website at bryantmcgill.com. Bryant is a poet, author, celebrity consultant and publicist. His company, McGill International, consults for Fortune 500 companies, A-list Hollywood personalities and other high-profile entertainers. His personal website has drawn millions of visitors and over 50,000 people regularly read his blog. Not bad work if you can get it!

But most importantly Bryant is a consummate gentleman and all around good guy. The first time I met him he was up at The Comic Strip with Jim Karol. Karol is known as "the psychic madman" and believe me he lives up to the title. Bryant and I connected over esoteric principles like energy work and healing and we spoke for hours while watching Jim Karol throw bolts of electricity up people's butts just by pointing his finger at them.

Bryant called me about a project he was working on for NBC and while we were talking he got the idea to invite me as one of the "celebrity" guests on the Kandy Kruise. He was the celeb/VIP organizer of the cruise so I was definitely "hooked up" as they say in certain small towns in Eastern Europe. I was told I could invite some celeb friends so I called Russell Peters who unfortunately was touring and couldn't make it. I'll see him when he plays Madison Square Garden on February 2, if not before. I'm hoping he'll co-star in the movie I'm writing for Jackie Mason to be filmed in New York next June after Jackie opens his 8th Broadway, The Ultimate Jew, next March. Eight one man shows on Broadway. Incredible. I don't think anyone else has had even done two!

Then I called Scott Baio who would have loved to come except that he was getting ready to shoot the second season of his show Scott Baio is 45 and Single. Baio told me that he was out shopping for cribs for the baby he and girlfriend Renee are expecting so it’s better that he didn't come. I'm glad to see him settling down and happy.

Paul Provenza, director of The Aristocrats, who also wrote the intro to my book Filthy, Funny, and Totally Offensive, really wanted to come but he was in New York, and couldn't get away. Pauly Shore - I'm still waiting to hear from you!

I was glad that my buddy Joe Brat was free to come. Joe's real name is Joseph McBratney and he took time off of his busy schedule to come and have fun for three days. When we docked back in LA Joe was whisked off to the offices of 3 Ball Entertainment to discuss the new reality show they are planning. The show is tentatively titled Get Me Joe Brat. In the planned show, Joe will go out and right society's wrongs and bring bad guys to justice. I can't wait to start shooting that show because in the show I'm his "consigliere" and we're joined at the hip. Stay tuned for more.

But back to the cruise: Needless to say the female talent was amazing as exemplified by the incredible Bobbi Billard who surpassed 1.1 million friends on My Space last April. I’m glad that I'm one of them. I'm naming her my Comedy Matters Girl of the Month. for October.

Jeffrey Gurian and Bobbi Billard (holding Jeffrey's big pen)

Bobbi made a miraculous recovery from surgery after her neck was broken in an altercation with some jealous females during her stint with the WWF. But fortunately that's all in the past and as you can see from the photographs that she looks quite healthy now. I didn't actually wrestle with her, I just took her word about her recovery!

DJ Miss Lisa and Jeffrey Gurian on the Kandy Kruise

The music rocked with at least 15 DJ's including LA's wildman Steve Castro, DJ Skribble and the ultra-hot DJ Miss Lisa who is also an international Playboy Playmate. Miss Lisa was wearing the highest platform shoes, silver lame "monster shoes," that I had ever seen.

Sebastian Maniscalco and Cort McCown on the Kandy Kruise

The LA/Las Vegas comedy scene was well represented on the cruise and I was glad to have the opportunity to meet some of those guys. Cort McCown, a really funny guy who is one of the creators of Playboy Comedy at the Lax Vegas Palms Resort and Casino, was the host of the ship show. He also served as host of the Miss Kandy Kruise competition. Poor guy! Cort has also been touring the country with "Dice" Clay, and Harland Williams. Do you have any idea how hard it is to host a show where most of the audience is wasted on Dom Perignon and the girls are hardly wearing any clothing? Well Cort is the man, 'cause he pulled it off.

Also part of Playboy comedy bunch was Paul Hughes, who you may have seen on MTV performing stand-up at Dave Navarro's wedding. Then there was Steve Rannazzisi from MTV's Punk'd, and ABC's hit Big Day. He also just got a lead role starring opposite Eddie Murphy in Paramount's new film Nowhere Land. Sebastian Maniscalco, who recently made his first appearance on Leno, taped a half hour comedy special for Comedy Central, and can be seen in the soon to be released film Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show, was also on board.

Jeffrey Gurian and Josh Nasar on the Kandy Kruise

I also ran into Josh Nasar, stand-up/ TV host/producer of some very hot comedy shows in LA. Lately Josh has been performing at Jamie Masada's Laugh Factory which features all A-list comics like Dane Cook, Chris Rock, Carlos Mencia and Jamie Kennedy. Check out Josh’s site at joshproductions.com.

But the main event as far as I was concerned was hanging with Rich Granville, founder and CEO of Jack 9 Entertainment, currently the number one IPTV network on the internet. They are the first Internet Protocol Television Network (hence IPTV) and they are capable of hosting millions of viewers at the same time with the capability of putting 1.9 million people on a live streaming Flash video. Rich created IPTV in 2005 as the first true internet television network. Rich is the former chairman and CEO of a publicly traded company called Avana Communications. According to Rich, "We're like Fox in 1986." Their only competition is You Tube. "There are maybe 20 other sites out there in the IPTV arena and I think we have more traffic than all of them combined", he added. He also announced that Gary Busey who was with us on the cruise signed a contract with Jack 9 Entertainment.

Gary Busey and Jeffrey Gurian on the Kandy Kruise

Rich calls Jack 9 his "last hurrah", which is an interesting choice of words for a guy who's still wearing a backwards baseball cap. All I know is that the man is a world class partier with a sense of style and grace, and we have some big plans together that I hope to be able to share with you in the near future.

Jose Jimenez Is Honored

Bill Dana, one of the most beloved comics of all time who I was lucky enough to meet and befriend through my old pal Jackie Mason, is being honored with a Lifetime Achievement Award for his work in entertainment on October 11th at Emerson College in Boston.

Bill Dana and Jackie Mason

It was 1959 when Bill uttered the immortal phrase, "My name Jose Jimenez" and it all took off from there. Sadly enough if you tried to create a character like Joe Jimenez today, some PC moron would probably object. Star of the eponymous The Bill Dana Show from 1963-1965, Bill became known as a comedian/writer/author/producer and composer. Currently Bill is very involved with his work establishing The American Comedy Archives at Emerson College, his alma mater. Bill is also a big believer in the healing effects of comedy, another thing that we have in common. Bill and I keep in touch periodically by e-mail. Congratulations Bill, and all the best in all that you do!

Boris The Hypnotist, Not Boring

The funny and talented Incredible Boris is one of the rare people in comedy with a dual profession. He is an internationally acclaimed hypnotherapist and a comedian. It makes for an interesting mix. Boris is a regular guest on TV talk shows, especially the Maury Povich Show where he cures people of their phobias while they are on the show. He has another "phobia" Maury appearance coming up. Check out his website for details at http://www.incredibleboris.com

NY Comedy Festival Talent Search

Jeffrey Gurian and Caroline Hirsch

I got a call from my buddy Bryan Kennedy, a really funny comic who hosts new talent shows at Carolines Comedy Club on Broadway. As part of Carolines' fourth New York Comedy Festival, slated to run from Nov. 6-11th, there will be an exhaustive search for "New York's Funniest Stand-Up" at the club on Oct. 16th. You get two whole minutes to impress the industry judges. I wonder if I'll be one of them. It's an open call from 11 A.M. until 4 P.M. My advice is to leave right now, and camp out, because the line will probably stretch to Europe. Finals will be held on Nov. 5th at 9:30 P.M. in front of industry ( as opposed to in back or on the side of industry) and the winner will receive a cash prize, intros to directors, agents and managers, a week performing at the club and a guest spot on one of the major festival shows. The only problem is if you win you may have to be very rich and famous. And who wants to live like that? Raise your hands so I can see them!

Anyway, until next time, remember…… COMEDY MATTERS!!!

A nationally known comedy writer and an authority on roast humor, Jeffrey L. Gurian has written material for many of the great performers at the fabled Friars Roasts including Richard Belzer, Robin Williams, Milton Berle, Jerry Lewis and even Bruce Willis, as well as material for comedy stars such as Joan Rivers, Gilbert Gottfried, Phil Hartman, Pauly Shore, "Dice" Clay, and Pat Cooper. He wrote and directed The Men Who Series of short films for the Toyota Comedy Festival currently showing on cell phones and You Tube. . He also wrote for MTV and USA Network and was one of the writers of Sony's first interactive film. As a playwright he wrote a one- hour NBC drama about the devastating effects of homelessness on the young, entitled De La Salle. He was given the honor of having his own column in the legendary Weekly World News called "Gurian's
World of the Bizarre." His first feature film Face to Face, that he wrote with Scott Baio, made its world premiere at the Taos, New Mexico Film Festival, and was honored as the opening night film. It has since become an award-winning film and won for Best Comedy Feature at the Marco Island Film Festival in Florida and the Valley Film Festival in Hollywood. His newest film, I Am Woody , about a mob boss obsessed with Woody Allen, won for Best Short Film at the NY Independent Film Festival. Jeffrey can be seen around town performing his comedy news broadcast Uncle Nat's Traveling Peep Show with his comedy partner model/performer Sonya Gignac. Jeffrey was recently chosen to be the East Coast producer of National Lampoon radio. His first book, based on his writing for the Friars Roasts is from Kensington Books, "Filthy, Funny, and Totally Offensive - Jokes So Dirty Comedians and Entertainers Only Tell Them To Each Other." In addition Jeffrey is a Clinical Professor at NYU in the Oral Medicine/Oro-Facial Pain Department, a cosmetic dentist, lecturer, author and healer. He also is credited for developing a cure for stuttering. You may read more at http: www.jeffreygurian.com.