Texas Love Advice
Plus Some Occasional Comments on the
State of the Popular Culture
L-R: Michael Mazocco, Wendy
R. Williams, Armistead Johnson
Photo Credit: Stephen Mosher
here for Miss Wendy's Latest Column
From Miss Wendy
to her readers: Here is a
quick comment on popular culture. Those Raymour
and Flanigan commercials (it's a furniture company)
where the husband sits on a handsome couch talking
in a mellow loving voice about how much he loves
and appreciates his wife (seen in the background
looking beautiful and smart) for doing such a wonderful
and tasteful job of decorating their home, does
not have me fooled. It's porn for women, plain and
simple. So there.
Dear Miss Wendy,
So it is official, the economy
is in a recession. Any words of wisdom about how
to survive this downturn with a modicum of style?
Down but Not Out
As you slalom down the financial
tubes, use your imagination, not your wallet. There
are so many ways to expand your universe without
increasing your credit card debt.
1. Go to the library for book
and DVD's instead of Barnes & Noble and Blockbuster.
2. Dress and decorate vintage, using Goodwill and
thrift show finds mixed with your basics.
3. Get (practically) free tickets to everything
- try Theatermania.com's
Gold Club and Audience
4. Do volunteer work - you will meet wonderful people.
5. Free music and events are everywhere - try New
York Cool's listing sections.
6. Take long walks.
7. Lighten your load: Visualize your life as a glorious
yacht (luxurious but small) and think seriously
about just what you truly need to carry along as
you make your journey. And if you don't need it,
quit picking it up.
Official Opening Night of "The Pussycat Dolls
The Viper Room / West Hollywood
November 23, 2008
Photo Credit: Chris Hatcher / PR Photos
Wendy to her readers: Here
is a "You Got It Going Girl" award to
Miss Bai Ling for the get-up she wore to the
opening of the Pussycat Dolls Lounge in West Hollywood.
Now this is an event where one could easily be upstaged
- the Dolls themselves, Paris Hilton trying to out-doll
the Dolls - but Miss Ling managed to put together
a "look at me" outfit without resorting
to neon. Now granted, not every one could wear this
look (Miss Wendy herself would look a tad bit off),
so Miss Ling is in no danger of starting a trend.
But for that occasion and that night, she "Had
82nd Annual Macy's Thanksgiving
November 27, 2008
Photo Credit: Janet Mayer / PR Photos
From Miss Wendy
to her readers: If you were
out of town and did not see the Macy's Thanksgiving
Day Parade, here is a turkey shot to cheer you up.
Jade Jagger, Alex Dellal
and Pixie Geldof
Photo Credit: Solarpix / PR Photos
Miss Wendy to her readers: This photo just
floated over the pond. It was taken at the 2008
British Fashion Awards at Royal Horticultural Hall
in London on November 25, 2008. You just have to
love the Brits, they live in a land where the sixties
are still alive and "Rock and roll is here
Today is Thanksgiving!
If you are running about trying to figure out what
to contribute to the feast, here are two of Miss
Wendy's favorite Thanksgiving recipes.
Miss Wendy's White
Trash Fruit Salad
1 large can of fruit
1 large bag of colored miniature marshmellows
1 large container of Cool Whip
Mix ingredients in
a bowl and enjoy
Miss Wendy's Queso
One package of Velvetta
One jar of salsa
16 ounces of half and half
Put all ingredients
into the crock pot, heat and serve with chips.
Albert L. Ortega / PR Photos
Miss Wendy to her readers: Two-time winner
of People Magazine's Sexiest Man of the Year Contest,
George Clooney, has reached out to Hugh Jackman,
the new Sexiest Man of the Year. According to MSNBC.com,
"“George Clooney rang me at two in the
morning,” Jackman told People Magazine Monday
at the “Australia” premiere in New York.
“I was half asleep and I said to him, ‘Ah,
George sweetie, good to hear from you.’ He
goes, ‘Shut up, Jackman!’’’
the Aussie actor recounted with a laugh. ”[He
said,] ‘I know what you did! You started this
big campaign that’s been going on and [you]
took the title away from me,’” Jackman
Aw! Don't you just love those sexy boys?
Miss Wendy to her readers: There
is an utterly bizarre story on MSNC.com
about a man who is suing McDonald's for three million
dollars. The suit alleges that the supposed victim
left his cell phone at McD's and then called the
restaurant and asked them to secure it which they
assured him that would. But, according to the suit,
secure it they did not, because nude photographs
of his wife and all kinds of personal information
such as their address ended up on the internet.
It is hard to know where to begin
on this sad ditty of a tale. First of all, what
kind of doofus has nude photographs of his WIFE
(as opposed to Pamela Anderson) on his cell phone?
Is he afraid he will forget what she looks like
during the day? And why would you ever think that
the people behind the counter at McDonalds were
the capable of securing anything? AHA, I get it,
they are not! But the parent company of McDonalds
has deep pockets and perhaps they can cover your
embarrassment and the cost of your impending divorce.
Or AHA AHA! Could it be
that this never happened? Oh the part about the
phone being left and the phone call asking McDonalds
to hold the phone and the resulting law suit all
seem probable. But even in this day and age where
everyone has a cell phone, do you think the person
in charge of saying "Do you want fries with
that?" in the Fayetteville, Arkansas McDonalds
is capable of quickly uploading photos from a strange
cell phone? Or could this whole thing be a hoax????
the new finger-tip-in-my-chili-at-Wendys?
(Note: The following
letter is a reprint from November of 2007. But very
little has changed for the flying public, so it
is unfortunately still relevant.)
Dear Miss Wendy,
It's Thanksgiving week. Does Miss
Wendy have any advice to the air traveling public?
Down Home Turkey
The airport police will
be on high alert. Not for terrorists, silly, but
for any hint of bad behavior from the flying public
who are being thoroughly mistreated by our overbooked
airlines and the under trained, underpaid airport
security guards. Airports have grown to resemble
subway tunnels with filthy restrooms and travelers
forced to sleep on the floor; the situation is become
so bad that many Jet Blue travelers plan ahead and
pack mats so they don't have to lie on the dirty
floor! So no matter how upset you become, please
stay calm so you don't become the next Larry
Craig (arrested for twitching in the men's room),
Rhys Meyers (arrested for public drunkenness
after years of sobriety) or worse yet as agitated
and depressed as Carol
Gotbaum, the lady who died while in police custody.
Save your whining for someplace safe - the visit
with your family.
Miss Wendy to her readers: You just have
to love Sarah Palin; she is the news cycle gift
that just keeps on giving. In a scene that could
easily have been directed by David
Lynch (Twin Peaks, Wild at Heart),
Governor Palin went to a turkey farm (instead of
a more traditional choice of having the turkey delivered
to the governor's mansion where it could be pardoned
on the lawn) to perform the traditional ceremonial
rite of "Pardoning a Turkey for Thanksgiving."
Governor Palin waded into the turkey coop to pick
her turkey from among the squawking turkeys. She
then read a (only slightly bizarre) ceremonial pardon.
So far, so good. Palin then walked outside where
she proceeded to hold a televised news conference
while the remaining (non-pardoned) turkeys were
slaughtered in the background (see MSNBC.com
for the video). Governor Palin really needs to assign
someone on her team to be in charge of "thinking"
and "calling fowl."
5th Anniversary of the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund
Skylight Studios / New York City
November 17, 2008
Janet Mayer / PR Photos
Miss Wendy to her readers: I saw this photo
of crazy/good Brit fashion designer John Galliano
(Dior) and it made my smile, so I thought I would
pass it on to cheer you up too. And I would like
to extend an invitation to Mr. Galliano to return
to NYC and march in the Easter Parade. He already
has the perfect outfit.
In your easter bonnet,
with all the frills upon it,
You’ll be the grandest lady in the easter
Paris Hilton and Benji Madden
The Genetic Opera Las Vegas Premiere
Planet Hollywood Hotel and Casino
November 6, 2008
PRN / PR Photos
off the Press: One of the great romances
of the twenty-first century has officially kaphumped.
Paris Hilton and Benji Madden (Good Charlotte) have
called it quits after nine months of of tabloid-assisted
dating (see People
Magazine). Just look at this photo of the love
birds in happier times; doesn't it just break your
heart? But there is an up side; Paris Hilton is
now free to spend more time with the love her life:
Albert L. Ortega / PR Photos
off the Press:
People Magazine has just named Hugh Jackman
their new "Sexiest Man Alive." Here are
New York Cool, we can only add: Ditto!
Dear Miss Wendy,
I am a hetero sexual
man with a very strong fetish for women in boots
(particularly fat women ) can you recommend any
clubs for this particular fetish?
No. Wrong city, wrong woman. You, sir, have obviously
mistaken Miss Wendy's utterly refined column for
Texas edition of Craig's List.
There is an extremely important story on
It seems that the Obama girls will not be getting
their puppy until they are settled in the White
House. This means that we still don't know if they
have taken Miss Wendy's suggestion that the new
puppy be a miniature poodle. Miss Wendy is on pins
and needles. How can the nation be expected to wait
patiently until sometime in February 2009 to find
out just who will be First Dog? After the stress
of the election, it is simply too much to ask.
Santa Students attend Santa
School: The Film
Odeon Cinema/Leicester Square/London
November 13, 2008
Photo Credit Solarpix/PR Photos
Miss Wendy to her readers: Here is a fun
photo that just flew in from across the pond. The
popcorn-eating Santas-to-be were attending the film
as part of their training to be Christmas Santas.
And yes Christmas will come this year and we will
have some joy, economy or not. Ho! Ho! HO! Etc.
Miss Wendy to her readers: There is a funny/cheerful
article in Newsweek titled, "Change
You Can Conceive In - Could euphoric Obama fans
be sparking a baby boom?" The premise is
that Obama victorious fans might have celebrated
in more ways than by simply dancing in the streets.
See this fun quote: "Hope and euphoria, says
University of Washington sociologist Pepper Schwartz,
are a serious aphrodisiac. And voters under 30 went
for Obama by a margin of 2 to 1. When you combine
those two elements—randy people of child-bearing
age—the likely result is what the online Urban
Dictionary has already dubbed "Obama Babies":
children "conceived after Obama was proclaimed
President, by way of celebratory sex."
Well, being a Obama baby is certainly a lot more
prestigious than being one of New York City's myriad
black-out babies (born nine months after an electrical
black-out). When a black-out baby hits his teens
and is ragging on his/her parents anyway, that baby
can always whine, "The only reason you two
had me was because you were BORED."
Miss Wendy to her readers: Have you seen
the latest Bravo reality series, The
Real Housewives of Atlanta? This show is
by far the biggest train wreck of the Real Housewives
series, even topping New York. The Atlanta women
are simply horrid, but I simply cannot look away.
If I were an actual Atlanta housewife, I would be
looking for someone at Bravo to bitch slap....Well,
maybe not. They might decide to cast me too.
Zang Toi Design
Photo Credit Mary Blanco
From Miss Wendy
to her reader: I saw this
dress last February at Zang Toi's fashion show.
As I was walking out of the show, one of Zang's
friends told me that he thought this dress would
be perfect on Michelle Obama at the inauguration.
So if you know Michelle, tell her that Zang has
Dear Miss Wendy,
How can we enjoy New York now that the money spigot
has been turned off?
Miffy from the Upper East Side
There are lots of ways to enjoy
New York that don't cost a lot of money - free theater,
museums, resale shops, H & M, etc. etc. The
biggest draw back to living inexpensively in New
York is social status. You can cut back on all kinds
of expenses if no one is watching. But if getting
by includes an apartment on the Upper East Side,
private schools for your children, a garaged car
plus car services and a summer home in the Hamptons,
you are pretty much f**ked, especially if you have
children who have been trained to think that all
these things are necessities.
But if you are sudenly broke,
but a member of a social set within which you are
embarrassed to cut back on expenses, try becoming
eccentric. Eccentric people can make all kinds of
weird choices (which just happened to not cost a
lot of money) and no one is particularly critical
because the chattering classes have already dismissed
the eccentrics as being eccentric.
New York eccentrics:
Sing in Jazz clubs
Become involved in charities that require dirty
hands (painting houses etc.)
Have kids who can get into Hunter
March to a different drummer
If you do any of the above
things, the"smart set" will quickly quit
asking you if your son got into Collegiate and if
you are going to helicopter to the Hamptons this
summer. Miss Wendy is a certified eccentric and
no one ever asks her any of those questions.
Tompkins Square Street Art
Photo Credit Evan Sung
Miss Wendy to her readers: It is easy to
be a little down right now. Even though we just
elected an extremely smart and charismatic new President,
Barack Obama, our nation is in an unmitigated mess
with falling home and stock prices and rising unemployment
and the never ending war in Iraq. But we are a resilient
nation and a resilient people and will do what we
have always done when faced with a mess, get behind
the plow and start plowing. And if you are filled
with fear, just remember the old quote (Pogo, I
think): "I am an old man and I have had many
problems, most of which have never happened."
MTV's TRL Taping
October 14, 2008
Janet Mayer / PR Photos
Miss Wendy to her readers: There is hope
for us all - Beyonce just announced that she wants
to play Wonder Woman (MSNBC.com).
And if there was ever a time when we could use a
little escapism, it is now. So you go Beyonce, grab
that golden lasso and save the world.
Miss Wendy to her readers: Barack Obama pulled
a big no-no when he announced during his election
night speech that his girls would be getting a puppy.
Now every news outlet from People to the New York
Times is running a story about just what kind of
dog the Obama girls should choose. Passions are
running high! Feelings are being hurt! Dogs are
And I, for one, will be highly offended if the cute
little Obamaettes don't choose a minature poodle.
And so it goes! Arf! Arf!
Solarpix / PR Photos
Solarpix / PR Photos
Miss Wendy to her readers: There is wonderful
news from across the pond. Blake Fielder-Civil (Amy
Winehouse's husband and the love-of-her-life) has
been released from prison. The rock lovebirds reunion
has been delayed a wee bit by the fact that Blake
was driven straight from prison to rehab, but perhaps
Britain's "Kurt Cobain/Courney Love duo"
can be reunited by hauling their toxes to detox.
Miss Wendy to her readers: Senator Barack
Obama was elected President of the United States
last night. Our country has been irrevocably changed
by the candidate of "change;" his election
signals the real start of the 21st Century. And
no where was that change more evident than on the
faces of black men like the Reverend Jesse Jackson
who had tears streaming down their faces. History
was made last night and we will all remember where
we were when it happened.
Now this is a change that is long
overdue and one that our nation desperately needs.
But having said that, oh
boy oh boy will this column miss Governor Sarah
Palin. Her campaign for the Vice Presidency was
like a subscription to the Zone Diet; all I had
to do was open my door and there was today's meat.
So here's to you Governor Palin: You're woeful lack
of experience and gravitas would be dangerous in
higher office, but you are an absolute hoot and
we love you for it. You were definitely the gift
that kept on giving.
Do you have a Question
for Miss Wendy?
Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org
All of Miss Wendy's
old columns are in the New York Cool Archive Section: