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What's Up For Today?

Ask Miss Wendy -  Miss Wendy's Texas Love Advice to New York's Sexually Challenged

Miss Wendy's Texas Love Advice
Plus Some Occasional Comments on the
State of the Popular Culture

Ask Miss Wendy
L-R: Michael Mazocco, Wendy R. Williams, Armistead Johnson
Photo Credit: Stephen Mosher

The Beat Goes On: There are three stories on that illustrate that we may be a nation that cannot answer the quiz show question, "What is common sense?" (1)The employees of a Burger King in Missouri asked a mother to leave because her six-month-old-baby was not wearing shoes, thus violating the "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" policy ( (2) an 81 year old woman in Mobile, Alabama was arrested for public lewdness, handcuffed, and hauled into the station for urinating in a public park (she lost control of her bladder and could not make it to a bathroom - and (3) Harvard scholar Henry Gates was arrested in his own home for becoming upset when the police made him prove that he lived there and then refused to identify themselves ( In all three cases, cooler heads soon prevailed, apologies were issued and charges (when applicable) were dropped. But all three of these could have been avoided, if someone had just had the common sense to say "Whoa, this story and my part in it are going to look ridiculous on the nightly news. Am I perhaps overreacting or "being an ass?" But since mishegases like this feed my column, I have to admit to reacting with glee when I see officials of any kind throwing themselves on their swords.

But my brother-in-law, Sterling Essenmacher from Houston, Texas, always advises, "Engage your brain BEFORE you open your mouth."


Thank You Sarah Palin: There is a wonderful quote from Sarah Palin's farewell speech. "It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future." I could just run up and kiss her. No one can toss a word salad like our Sarah. Every time this wonderful woman opens her mouth, I have more fodder for my column.

Now don't think I want former Governor Palin to ever hold elected office again (there may be no danger of that), but please please, Sarah, keep on talking.


Dear Miss Wendy,

It is August, and I have not seen any socialites or celebrities in the city. What is going on?


Tulsa Tourist

Dear Tulsa,

Everyone who is anyone in New York City is either in the Hampton's or in hiding. The hot totties of NYC have made the city into a small town. They run with a circle of friends who tally up status on a daily basis just like they were characters in a Jane Austen novel. So if one of the characters in the real New York City reality show cannot afford to make-it in the Hampton's, they either stay home or go out in disguise.


Taylor Momsen Singing with her Band, The Pretty Reckless
Taylor Momsen's Birthday Party Presented by MySpace
Hiro Ballroom at The Maritime Hotel / New York City
July 28, 2009
Janet Mayer / PR Photos

The Beat Goes On: Madonna and Lady Gaga need to look over their shoulder and hear the hoof beats of Miss Taylor Momsen, the blonde hot mess from Gossip Girl who has just debuted her new band, The Pretty Reckless. Miss Courtney Love, who has not been in the news lately (no jail, no rehabs), has managed to piggy-back off Momsen's buzz by starting a feud (see which will give both Momsen and Love a bucket load of free publicity. Why pay for publicity when you can just tackle the competition and create a fun story for all the media (including Miss Wendy) to cover?

Hey, we are media sluts and we always fall for it.

But here is a promise to return to more adult conversation tomorrow.

Actress Bai Ling
IAKONA / PR Photos

The Beat Goes On: Kudos to actress Bai Ling for creating her own look; the girl always looks smashing. Now not everyone can get away with this outfit, so if you weigh more than a fifth eighth grader, don't even think about it.

P. S. Even though few women can wear this look, we are all going to be tempted to buy over-the-knee boots this fall.


Quick Question: Has Jon Gosselin forgotten that he is actually the father of the eight children on his tv show or does he simply consider those children to be his costars? Everyday there seems to be some tabloid report about Gosselin's new Manhattan digs (the kids live in Pennsylvania), his trips to Europe to confer with fashion designers and his on and off again romances with two women.

And most of these tabloid reports just refer to him as a single man living a single lifestyle. I would love to see how the tabloids handled it if his soon-to-be-ex wife Kate so much as met a man at the local Pizza Hut.

Sure divorced parents are entitled to a little fun, but once you are the father of eight children under the age of eight, your life should be over until the last one leaves for college. Hey Man: You are not one of the kids, you are the father to EIGHT children. So there.

And if love and a sense of responsibility don't motivate Gosselin to do a better job of being a parent, perhaps he should think ahead to the future possibility that one or more of those grown up children might decide to produce and star in their own "Daddy Dearest" reality show. His new BFF, Michael Lohan (father to Lindsey), should be able to fill him in on how much fun it is to be considered a pariah by your own children.

Post Script: I wrote this bit where I wagged my finger and went nah, nahdy, nah, nah at Jon Gosselin and then I thought: Whoa! Gosselin's shenanigans are being orchestrated by the producers of The Learning Channel who have served up this mishegas, packaged and with a bow. Christian Audiger must have begged (or paid) to be thrown in to the middle of this made-for-media scandal. Why pay for advertising when you can create a story and the media will cover it for free? And I fell for it hook, line and sinker. When will I finally totally get it that Reality TV has nothing to do with reality? Game, match, set The Learning Channel.



Amy Winehouse
Solarpix / PR Photos

The Beat Goes On: There is good news out of London. Miss Amy Winehouse went to the City of Westminster Magistrates Court in London on July 23, 2009 to faces assault charges for allegedly punching a fan (who asked to take a photo with her) in the eye. And our dolled-up Miss Winehouse was acquitted. There is no news, however, on what part Winehouse' hair may have played in the melee. Was Winehouse even able to see the fan or was the fan whacked when Winehouse suddenly moved her beehive? Style points to Miss Winehouse, however, for nailing the rocker chic goes to court look.


The Veronicas
Robin Wong / PR Photos

Here is a You Got It Going Girl(s) Award for the Australian singing sensation, the Veronicas. They are moving up the pop charts plus they are just plain cool looking.


The Beat Goes On: There is good news out of South Carolina. Disgraced Governor Mark Sanford has written an op-ed column for the South Carolina newspapers which declared that God will make him better. I am so relieved, but considering all the extremely important issues that require God's help these days - war, famine and pestilence - perhaps Sanford should help God by cleaning up his act.

Bless you Sarah Palin: Soon-to-ex-Governor Sarah Palin has announced that she is ready to be unleashed and will be twittering away as soon as she is through with Alaska ( This is great news for this column (and perhaps for Alaska), but if anyone has been able to figure out which language she speaks (Palinese?), please advise.


David Beckham
2009 Soccer - LA Galaxy and Red Bulls Press Conference
W Hotel in New York
July 15, 2009
Janet Mayer / PR Photos

The Beat Goes On: Here is a You Got it Going Girl (Guy) Award for Mr. David Beckham who is definitely a candidate for People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive." There was a rumor on the street that Beckham and Angelina Jolie were going to be featured in the latest Armani underwear ads (the sexy ones with the stars stripped down to their skivvies). Beckham has squelched that rumor which is very good news for Victoria Beckham and Brad Pitt and not such good news for the voyeuristic public.



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