Wendy's Texas Love Advice
Plus Some Occasional Comments on the
State of the Popular Culture
L-R: Michael Mazocco, Wendy R.
Williams, Armistead Johnson
Photo: Stephen Mosher
here for Miss Wendy's Latest Column
Dear Miss Wendy,
Thanksgiving is coming and my boyfriend
and I are planning to cook dinner for all our friends
who will be staying in the city during the holiday. But
here is my problem: every time I bend over to put something
in the oven or wash a dish in the sink, my boyfriend -
well you know. Should I have the meal catered?
Just send that horny boy out to buy
some of the things you will need for the meal like lime
green jello, cool whip and Le Seur extra fancy small green
peas. And if the silly boy gets even more randy thoughts
from purchasing items like jello and cool whip and comes
running home to convince you to play "stuff the turkey"
on top of the dining room table, afterwards you and your
friends can at least eat the peas.
Dear Miss Wendy,
I have a delicate problem. My boyfriend
and I both love our Ipods but we bought them before custom
personalization was available, so they do look alike.
Well, the other night we were doing "what we do"
and in the heat of the moment both of our ear pieces fell
from our ears. I discretely grabbed for my ear piece,
accidentally got his instead and was promptly horrified.
He was listening to some awful rap song with lyrics like,
"F... that b...." I was so shocked I was incapable
of saying anything at the time, but now I feel that I
must bring it up.
Dear Music Lover,
I am very glad you did not mention accidentally
hearing his music. The new Ipods are very personal instruments
and can enhance a person's private sexual fantasies. The
most polite thing to have done was to have said nothing,
quietly pulled his ear piece out of your ear and discretely
reinserted your own. Then you could have finished your
"activities" listening to something you really
enjoy, like Jessica Simpson's new hit, "Take My Breath
If you are just dying for more of
Miss Wendy's priceless advice, please check the previous
months letters in the Archive
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