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Eugene Mirman

NYC: You are also touring widely with great indie bands like Modest Mouse and the Helio Sequence. How did you get connected with that scene? Did they seek you out?

EM: I performed at Tinkle a lot and after the booze cruise, a rock booking agent asked me if I wanted to open for The Shins. I did. After that she asked me if I had anyone booking me live, and I didn’t, so she became my agent. Demetri Martin, Leo Allen, Andy Blitz and I toured in rock clubs already with our friend Shonali’s bands (Tigers and Monkeys and The Neverlands) and I toured with Stella and really enjoyed it. Modest Mouse wanted to do something different, and my agent works with them and Helio Sequence and set up that tour. But also, I go to a lot of music shows, and a lot of musicians come to comedy shows. That’s how I ended up touring with Yo La Tengo. Bobby Tisdale and I often have a musician close the show. At first we had Langhorne Slim (who I saw perform and loved) close every show. And then we started booking other people. We’ve had The Trachtenberg Family Slide Show Players, John Wesley Harding, Connor Oberst and countless others. I think it’s a nice way to end a show.

NYC: What is it like performing for a rock audience as opposed to a comedy audience? Is there any difference for you?

EM: It can be hard, but it also reaches a whole new group of people. And when it works, it’s super fun. Opening for Stella in rock clubs are some of the most fun shows. There’s lots of people who don’t really go to comedy clubs, but constantly go to rock clubs, so it makes sense to bring comedy there. Rock clubs often have a more natural feeling environment. Comedy clubs can be antiseptic. Have you ever been walking around New York and had somebody say to you “Do you like music? Want to buy tickets to Irving Plaza?” No. But people are constantly stopped and asked “Do you like comedy? Want tickets to see standup?” Would you want to perform for people who have been tricked into seeing you? There are some really great comedy clubs of course. But many comedy clubs are expensive and cheesy.

NYC: Given that New York is your home base, do you like going on tour spreading your magic, or do you prefer performing here and "pumping up your base?" Are there a lot of swing states that are just on the fence about you?

EM: I enjoy both. I like being in New York the most, but it’s nice to get away and tour. I learn a lot from traveling. Did you know that it would be awful to live in Florida? I do now. Though St. Augustine is beautiful. I hadn’t really seen that much of the country until I started touring. I love Austin and Seattle. And I bet people in Swing States would mostly dislike me.

NYC: A topic that's hard to avoid no matter what you're talking about these days: politics. You've made short films parodying the Swift Boaters for Truth, and with people like Jon Stewart taking CNN hosts to task for political theater, comedy has become very political in these months and weeks before the election. How important is that for you to affect or deal with the political climate in your standup?

EM: Somewhat important. Mostly what I do isn’t political. I prefer doing comedy that is either odd stories/ jokes, weird social satire, or simply ridiculous. However, I think humor can be very powerful corrective tool. I think Jon Stewart leveled the Crossfire guys. It’s hard to fight against humor. If you can make fun of something in a way people really connect with, there’s almost no rebuttal, except something funnier. And it spreads. Countless people e-mailed Jon Stewart on Crossfire to each other. Our media has become crappy over the last decade or two, ever since it went from being largely public interest focused to profit motivated. And now people are talking about it more. And Jon Stewart is one of the reasons. And The Daily Show is one of the only shows that challenges the stupidity of both the media and politics. The idea of a “freedom hater” is simply stupid. It’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard in years. That’s not a way for the president to talk about terrorism. Basically, I think Bush is a frightening president. And if I can think of a way to make fun of him or his agenda in a way that can spread, I will. So far, the Swift Boat video and a bunch of benefits are all I’ve done. If I had a great joke about America’s policy of sexually humiliating and raping detainees in Iraq and Gitmo (that’s what the Army and I call Guantanamo Bay) I would tell it. All I have though are a few slogans for the Kerry campaign:

1) Hey Wing States: New York City Has Been Attacked By Terrorists and We’re Voting For John Kerry Because He Won’t Get Us Blown Up, Also, What About Schools?
2) Vote Kerry: He Will Deceive and Rape You Much, Much Less, Maybe Not At All.
3) Jonh Kerry: He Will Kill As Many Terrorists As Bush, With Only Half The Fear

NYC: Releasing your own CD is a pretty big milestone in a comic's career, what are your next ambitions?

EM: I’m slated to take over for Letterman in 2035.

NYC: Part of the Mirman mythos is your star turn as the Arsonist on Third Watch. Do you feel like a whore when you go out for acting gigs? Is it fun being a whore? And how much for handjobs?

EM: I don’t feel like a whore. Being on Third Watch was really fun. However, it is depressing being at auditions. Also, I don’t call it acting. I call it Pretending. If you have a chance to check out my pretendings, you should. And to answer your other question, a handjob isn’t about money, it’s about the job. And if you have even a little pride or marginally believe in the protestant work ethic, you would do it for free. Me, I would charge $250,000.

NYC: [In hushed, Barbara Walters tones] Eugene, "sexy," what is it? You've described it in your "Ask Eugene" column as "Laughing at the wrong time, and throwing shit at people." Any second thoughts?

EM: Like anything, sexy is a game. A game in which you play to win. Where else do we play to win? The War On Terror. To be sexy you must understand things in a post 9/11 context. The post 9/11 woman, to be sexy, must be three things: beautiful (our nation’s media subtly lets women know that already), confident, and passionate. And no, putting on a camisole and crappy ass-revealing jeans isn’t sexy, it’s disturbing. Cut that shit out. A post 9/11 woman understands that sexy is a smell, a gesture, something you yell at a child. Or to put it another way, sexy is when you make 70 cents to the dollar and then smile and give him a good time in bed anyway. That’s sexy! For a man, it’s sexy to be vindictive, polite and tall.

NYC: And in conclusion, as a Mirman, what is it like to be able to breathe and function both on land and in the ocean?

EM: Thanks for asking. I have an army of fish, so it’s cool.

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