Wendy's Texas Love Advice
Plus Some Occasional Comments on the
State of the Popular Culture
L-R: Michael Mazocco, Wendy R.
Williams, Armistead Johnson
Photo: Stephen Mosher
here for Miss Wendy's Latest Column
Dear Miss Wendy,
I am dying to know what you think
about the situation over in New Jersey. What ever was
going on with Governor McGreevey and that cute boy, Gordon
My dear Intrigued,
Thank goodness you had a second sentence. I would have
to write a book the size of the Manhattan phone book to
explain New Jersey. And you must have a pretty good idea
of what was going on with Governor McGreevey and Mr. Cipel.
It sounds like the oldest story in the world. A pretty
paramour professes undying love for a powerful man and
then poof - the greed fairy arrives and whisper in our
heroine's ear - he has money and you don't, you put out,
why shouldn't he?
The only difference is that now we have
a dashing male heroine, Gordon Cipel, a former Israeli
army officer. Please bring me my smelling salts! Gordon
has now joined the illustrious ranks of women-done-wrong,
Monica Lewinsky, Jennifer Flowers, Linda Jones (of Henry
Cisneros fame). Lots more will soon be known about Gordon.
His life will be an open book, his every coming and going
carefully documented by Michael Musto and Gawker. And
the beat goes on.
Dear Miss Wendy,
I have spent all my available disposable funds and will
be stuck in New York when the Republicans invade. How
can I avoid them? If I do manage to scrap together enough
loose change to buy a few beers in a bar, how can I avoid
waking up next to one the following morning?
Broke but Politically Aware
Well, Republicans don't glow in
the dark, even the ones that run nuclear plants. They
resemble normal people, except for their unfortunate tendency
to wear pastels. You will simply have to avoid the places
where they will tend to congregate: chain restaurants,
chain hotels, Macys, Lord and Taylor, Saks, sporting events,
super expensive restaurants, Gucci, Calvin Klein, Scores
etc. etc. You should be safe at small restaurants in the
East Village and Brooklyn and at all Golds Gyms. You may
see Arnold Schwarzenegger working out at a Golds Gum (Equinox
is way too girly for him), but he will be the only Republican
there and he is too campy to miss.
If you are just dying for more of
Miss Wendy's priceless advice, please check the previous
months letters in the Archive
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