Written by Dennis Spafford

Hello all of you fabulous people out there in the world! My name is Dennis and I would like to share with you what it is like to be in New York, in the summer, tasting the fruit of life (and believe me I have tasted a few fruits).

However before we begin, let me say that I love this city by the sea so very much. There is so much to see and do, you could go out every night and still have to turn parties down. I have had to develop that six sense of knowing what is hot and what is not. So be assured I will only tell you all about the best parties, for those are the only ones I go to (fyi…I'm a picky bitch when it comes to parties). Having said all that lets get to the meat of what's going on in NY:……mmm meat.

Dennis Spafford and Janine

The two best events during the whole Howl Festival were Bitch @ Fez and the Rubulad Party. Bitch, a member of Bitch and Animal, made all the girls wet last Friday night (even me!). After a sultry introduction by the infamous Murray Hill, Bitch hopped on stage decked in head to toe Neo-Hippie gear. Everybody went wild! She had an ease about her, which was unexpected. I found myself drawn to her, waiting to hear what she would have to say. The Bitch spoke of life and journeying, trying to find herself. In truth I had never heard her sing before, and was expecting to hear something along the lines of Nina Hagen, but The Bitch shocked me when she burst out in the most melodic of voices. As I sat there (I was hanging out with a group of girls I had met at the bar, they sort of adopted me), I realized that I might be a lesbian! The energy in that dimly lit room was intoxicating. All of these women (and their adopted gay boys) were all smiling and soaking in the wisdom if the Bitch.

The show ended in a roar of applause. My night ended by getting spanked by a tough blond grrrl in the hallway. It all seems now like some kind of Sapphic dream….

On Saturday night, late late night, after waiting for my gal pal to get done with her bartending gig in the East Village, we arrived at Rubulad. This party is an underground favorite. Rubulad is a traveling party (in that it is always at a different place) and has been happening for about three years. This time it was at the CSV center, which is an artist hive in L.E.S. Decked in a party costume (a black sheer tunic and fur collar) I ascended into this space of inspiration and imagination. As always this party was amazing! We danced and drank in to the wee hours of the morning. DJ's, bands, singers, hula hoopers, performance artist and so on all delighted us with their skill. By 4am I had been groped by a guy who looked like Chevy Chase, and had somehow made out with a girl wearing only a bra and a thong. My oh my, the things I do when I'm feeling high minded.

That's all folks! Until next time, in the words of Mr. Willy Wonka.
"Nihil desperandum, dear lady. Across the desert lies the promised land. Goodbye, Mrs. Gloop. Adieu! Auf wiedersehen! Gesundheit"